Murderdrome is a campy exploitation serial killer movie based around the sport of roller derby. That is it. The whole review. Stop reading. The review is over. Seriously. Why are you still reading, there isn’t anything else to say about Murderdrome. Still reading. Fine. For its B movie budget the special effects are pretty impressive. That is all you are getting though, its a campy exploitation serial killer movie based around roller derby with pretty good special effects. Ok. Done. Really? You really need a better review than this? Ok, you asked for it. Murderdrome was a disappointment. Look, look what you made me do. I didn’t want to say this, I wanted everyone to love Murderdrome and we’d all be happy, I wanted to love Murderdrome. But you had to carry on reading, and now I have to explain myself. I was pretty excited about this movie, the premise sounded amazing, the dvd case looked amazing, the trailer was amazing. It seemed like my favorite type of silly shlock horror, and the fact that it all takes place on eight (tiny) wheels seemed to make it all the more special. And it does, to an extent, if you take away the roller skates the film would become pretty pedestrian (get it? Yeah.) but this isn’t the issue. Its that a pretty large percentage of the dialogue was cranked up to eleven on the terrible scale. I don’t have a problem with crappy dialogue, especially in a movie like this, but when the first act entirely comprises skating scenes interspersed with said crappy dialogue, I have to wonder if Murderdrome could have been something more. Now I have to admit, I have no idea what the rules of roller derby are, and I am none the wiser having watched Murderdrome, but I do know that for some people it is a sport as much about appearances and hilarious team names as it is the skating. What I am hoping is that for people who are actually into the sport some of the more annoying dialogue will have some sort of significance. Like I said, I really want people to like this movie. It clearly has been made by people who care about making it as fun and scary and gross as possible, it had so much potential, I just wish it had made me smile as much as it made me want to go roller skating.

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