Cockneys Vs Zombies

I think its fairly pointless to explain the plot of Cockneys Vs Zombies. If you can’t guess it yourself then frankly you should be ashamed of yourself. In the league table of Vs movies this one rates pretty highly, this is because unlike, say, mega shark vs giant octopus, where really you don’t have anything emotionally invested in either the mega shark nor the giant octopus, Cockneys are actually quite easy to relate to. What with them being human beings and all, albeit rather ridiculous stereotypes. Cockneys. Everyone loves Cockneys. Actually, the same applies to Zombies, they are universal, everyone loves zombies. This might be because they used to be human beings, and when they get their heads/legs/arms/torsos blown to bits with automatic weapons it serves a cathartic release of the frustrations we frequently feel towards our fellow humans. It might be because it looks bloody awesome when semi-humans get their heads/legs/arms/torsos blown to bits with automatic weapons though. This is neither the time nor the place for a philosophically grounded discussion of the appeal of zombie movies. It might be interesting to address Cockneys though. Why Cockneys? Unless the film was conceived to appeal to a curiously specific subsection of the population of London, we must assume that Cockneys hold some sort of fascination for the rest of the country. As I said above, everyone loves Cockneys, but I am not sure its so easy to articulate exactly why this is. Lets get specific, a Cockney, in this context is an oft used film and television stereotype. Straight talking, aside from the accent and the slang, usually involved in something a little dodgy, but ultimately with a heart of gold. It is perhaps the combination of first and the last parts which holds the appeal, the Cockney allows the viewer to vicariously live out their anarchic fantasies without having to fundamentally undermine their position in the hierarchical order of western society. What ever rules they break they will always come out ok, because that heart of gold still stands for certain values such as family, honor, community and respect, even if it is frequently framed within the rubric of crime. This is why your film Cockney will kneecap every person in a room without a hint of remorse, but will break down crying if their Mum tells them off for it. You wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of these guys, but ultimately films about Cockneys frequently place the viewer on their side, no film more so than Cockneys Vs Zombies. Next time you see a movie with a Cockney character, ask yourself just why they are there, they could have been from anywhere in the country, but for some reason the stereotypical representation of residents of this small part of East London represent a disproportionate amount of our home grown characters. Maybe we all have a little Cockney in us, or maybe we just all secretly wish we could go out, do a quick bank robbery and be home in time for a cup of tea and a biscuit.

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