Sharknado

Font of all knowledge wikipedia tells me that its pretty rare for really big storms to hit California. I didn’t bother reading the whole article so I cant tell you why. But I did read enough to tell you that whilst they have more big storms than say … Essex… they certainly have way less than the Cayman Islands, which some other website told me was the hurricane capital of the world. I also found out that whilst Britain has largely temperate weather it is also the least predictable, presumably because we still try and do it by looking at what side of the tree moss is growing on or something, instead of using satellites like the rest of the world. Anyway. This lack of cloudy days means that half the time the apparently (shark)nado ridden city is bathed in sunlight. I mean I have seen pictures of tornado damage where one house is destroyed, and right next to it another is relatively untouched, but this was ridiculous. Its all ok though because Sharknado takes place in a world where continuity is just a vague concept, not something to be really taken seriously. Which is the point, nothing in this film is meant to be taken seriously. Which is why it is so brilliant. From the very outset you can see that Jason Simmons, as ‘Baz’ the Tasmanian sidekick is going to be absolutely hilarious, not least because his hair makes him look a little like an owl, and he does not disappoint. Every line is a wisecrack, he even throws out a few crackers immediately after people have died, just to lighten the mood. Oh, apologies, its not technically ‘the outset’. There is a slightly wonky prelude where a Cuban captain does some dodgy shark fishing and nearly sells the catch to Marcus Choi, who does a good job of being some sort of sharks fin soup crime … guy. I didnt really understand what was going on, but trust me when I say, there was something like a billion sharks involved and it didnt look legit at all. Thus setting up a rather good “if thou overfish sharks, they will rain down upon thee” premise for the film. This isn’t really a spoiler though because the whole incident is never referred to again and I had almost forgotten it had happened. I guess an hour and an twenty minites was just a tiny bit too short and they needed a little padding. Another hilarious trope is the way that anyone who denies that sharks could be raining down on the city immediately gets eaten, or splatted, or skewered. Its almost as if the film is saying it out loud, this cant happen, it wont happen, but try to take apart our logic and you’ll forget why you are watching this film” and if you are watching it for any other reason than to see sharks taking bites out of people as they fly to earth, then you are a fool.

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