Hammer of the Gods

Some Vikings turn up to fuck shit up for the Saxons, which is why this film is shot mostly in Wales. The fog machine is broken out more than frequently throughout, which has the rather unfortunate side effect of making the whole thing look a little bit like Monty Pythons Holy Grail, which isnt an awful thing, its just not quite as atmospheric when you fully expect a killer bunny rabbit to appear. The Vikings mosy around on some quest or another, dont worry about the details, there are not really any which make sense so it is far better to take it all in, and they kill lots of people with axes. They also kill each other a bit too, and sometimes they kill people for absolutely no reason at all. But that is all part of the fun. There is some attempt at vaguely intelligent film making here with the hero having some sort of sense of … well just sense really, but it is largely just a big old romp through fog infested Wales with a lot of good old fightin for good measure. The end is a sort of crap re-imagining of Colonel Kurtz’s lair in Apocalypse Now, right down to some guy who calls himself ‘the Chronicler’ or somesuch thing. Our hero went through a lot to get here, namely loads of fightin, and a drinking/arm wrestling competition, but Heart of Darkness this is not. Clocking in at about and a half there isnt time to get bored, but just in case I have worked out the percentages for you: 44% Long shots of people walking over hills. 10% Long shots of people walking over hills with lightening in background – even when no storm is present. 36% Fightin. 5%Talking in tents. 5% Talking nonsense in caves. 5% Talking outside. 5% Creeping fog.

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