Machine Girl

What happens in Machine Girl is that in the first ten seconds we see something violent happen. Then throughout the film we see increasingly more violent things happen, each more violent than the last. Were the first violent act maybe someone getting a slap, assuming an act of violence occurs on average every two minutes (this is probably a conservative estimate) throughout the film from that slap starting point our ultimate act of violence would maybe be a beheading or something. Imagine possessing a sort of violence thermometer, this scenario would see you go on the scale from say the temperature on a British summers day to the Sahara desert. What Machine Girl does is starts you on the violence thermometer on or very close to the surface of the sun – with multiple murder with a knife and machine gun. There is nowhere to go from here, your violence thermometer is already boiling itself dry how can you possibly top this? Well picture the result of tempura’ing (not sure if this is correct, spell check suggested temporising) a hand – whilst it is still attached, then, if you will, picture, as an act of revenge for the hand tempura’ing the hot oil being thrown over the assailant. Now this isn’t a spoiler really, because remember this is violent act number two of probably about sixty. And this is why this film is so brilliant. As I said, each act of violence is just a little bit ‘worse’ (read – more cool) than the last, with machine gun death as a starting point you can imagine the ones towards the end are frankly ridiculous. This film sort of pretends to be taking itself seriously, all the acting is amazingly dead pan, but then hilarious things happen like high school ninjas and some sort of possessed with grief killers turn up. Did I mention that machine girl is called this because she has a machine gun instead of an arm. What sums up this film quite well is that all the way through the part where she has a machine gun for an arm you can literally see her real arm is tucked into her shirt – but I still absolutely loved it.

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