Man if this was called steakland it would have rocked, like Man V’s Food but on an epic scale. The trailer for Stakeland made it look absolutely amazing. It didn’t really live up to its promise, I thought it was going to be a lot less like a road movie with vampires and a lot more like a vampires invade the house type film. It follows this formula: Arrive in place. Discover place has vampire infestation. Kill vampires (if at all possible, this is not a prerequisite, you can just run away like a coward), leave place, repeat. Its not a bad film, it has some good scares and some awesome bits, like when (spoilers) some nutcase religious group throws some vampires out of a helicopter. There is also a vague attempt here at working out exactly what a post vampire apocalypse America would look like, it has pockets of civilization, the back story is well worked out and there are nice little touches like signs saying things like “one alive in basement”. But for all this well thought out stuff none of the characters develop at all on their journey, they start it either as a badass, or a “finding himself” kid or a pregnant woman (Pregnant woman is a character type here, as is religious mother figure) and that is how they stay throughout the whole film. So steak, sorry stake wielding skills this gets a ten out of ten, character development and storyline, probably about a three. But then what did I expect from a film called Stakeland?


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