John Carter of Mars

This is a story about a man who gets thrown into a civil war and chooses sides based on the woman he is attracted to. Indeed boobs do make the world go around. In this case the world is Mars. This mars business annoyed me a little because the mars rover ain’t seeing any of this stuff, its all far dustier! Given that this is a Disney film its mighty confusing plot wise, but this is no bad thing, it may be why it tanked, but it could have been far better if it had been made by another studio and the battle scenes had been a little more epic, but by Disney there is a sense that it doesn’t really know who its aiming at. In the end Carter really gets to have his cake and eat it, i felt quite jealous, also because he aquires a big lizard dog (which like the rest of the cgi is straight out of star wars) which is awesomely cute.

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